We’re happy to announce a radical new employment program for parrots!
Here’s a copy of the news article from CBC:
In an effort to streamline LEED project management, local green building leader Recollective hired big data giant Palintir to analyze the company to look for efficiencies. At the CBC studio in downtown Vancouver last Wednesday, Recollective CEO Eesmyal Santos-Brault explains to reporters the Palintir insights that led to the remarkable staff resources shift. “You know”, Eesmyal explains, “green building consulting is very technical and requires highly skilled staff. But when you add the documentation intensive green building rating system LEED into the picture, things change. According to the petabytes of Recollective data analyzed by Palintir, 63.7% of the time expended by staff on LEED projects can be summed up into the following singular request: ‘Give me your LEED documentation’. I was surprised and disturbed by Palintir’s conclusions”, says Eesmyal. What he did next with these results shocked the world. “I’ve always been an animal lover”, Eesmyal told reporters with a tear welling in his eye, “so giving an opportunity for gainful employment to animals just made sense to me. It took only one day to train the parrots to recite the LEED incantation, and since then we’ve seen a 57% improvement in employee satisfaction, as their time is now unlocked to become more effective green building strategists.”